I Sometimes Miss

 

Recently, my husband and I bought a house.  Up until nine months ago, we rented a third floor condo.  After we got married, we decided to stay in that condo for one more year, so that we could save money to purchase  a home.  I was pretty miserable the last six months of that year because my husband and I were out growing the limited space we had.  I couldn’t wait to get out, and now that we have our home, I very rarely miss the condo, until days like today.

I sometimes miss that the responsibility of shoveling snow and mowing the lawn was somebody else’s problem.  I literally just finished shoveling, and now the snow has returned.

I sometimes miss that smaller space, less rooms, less house.  When whole house cleaning only took one day, and now it can take two or three.

I sometimes miss our balcony with the beautiful view of the pool.  I loved having the door open and listening to the children laughing and music drifting my way on gorgeous summer days.

I sometimes miss the fact that if something big went wrong, it was the landlord’s problem.  Now if the washer or dryer or stove goes out, we have to pay for a new one.

I sometimes miss the fact that while living in the condo I felt younger.  The condo meant less responsibility, so on days off, lounging around didn’t make me feel so guilty.

But despite my occasional yearning for simpler times , I would miss so much about being a home owner.

I would miss knowing that I can design my home to look however I wish.  Painting walls, hanging pictures, planting flowers…creating a space that showcases our personalities.

I would miss hosting family and friends.  More space means having more room for loved ones.  Entertaining with parties and dinners and game nights is one of my favorite things to do.

I would miss having a back yard.  Having that space for my silly puppy to run and jump and play in the sun and snow.  Or where my future children will learn to throw a ball or do a cartwheel or skin a knee.

I would miss the big picture window in the front of my home.  The window where I can watch the seasons change, use the sun as my personal reading and writing lamp, and just sit and watch the world go by.

I would miss all the memories that this house has in store for my family…all the dinners and arguments and smiles and tears.  The responsibility of making a life in a place that makes you happy.  Nothing about home owning is simple and times will be difficult, but there is nothing like pausing in front of your home and saying, “This is all mine!”