Why is it Such a Chore?

 

Nothing is certain except for death and taxes. – Benjamin Franklin

Benny was a really smart guy, but I’d have to disagree with this quote, he absolutely left something very important out!

Nothing is certain except for death and taxes and CHORES!!! – updated by Jessica Gibbons

I mean there is no escaping them. They are, without a doubt, a certainty.  There is no way you could live your life without doing some sort of chores.

‘Chores’ is such a broad category.  There are a plethora of chores out there.  And something I might see as a chore, you might see as a fun Friday night activity.

Nevertheless, we all have those chores we love to do.  And we all have those chores that are absolute pure torture.

Today while I was cleaning my bathroom, all I could think about was how much I hate to do this job!  My hatred for bathroom cleaning has zero to do with what actually takes place in the bathroom.  I hate it because bathrooms have so many nooks and crannies to clean.  Behind the toilet, around the faucet, everywhere  in the shower.  Not to mention, you have to use at least four different types of cleaner.  Windex for mirrors.  Pledge for vanities.  Mr. Clean for the floor.  Scrubbing Bubbles for everything else.  It’s just so complicated…

But, cleaning the bathroom is not my number one most hated chore…it’s grocery shopping!

It takes every fiber of my being to go to the grocery store.  I have so many dislikes.

• the parking lot
• the deli counter
• the lines at the check out
• the variety – why are there 50 different types of olive oil?
• the baggers who put one item in a bag, so I walk out with 50 bags – I used to be a cashier/bagger, so I can complain. 🙂
• the customers who take up the whole aisle
• the customers who walk so slow
• the customers who insist on using Express Lanes with 100 items
• actually, maybe just the customers (I’m not always a huge people person)

Honestly, I’m about 75% to blame in my hatred for the grocery store.  If I would just take the time on Sunday to plan dinner for the week, and make a list, I probably wouldn’t have such a disdain for shopping.  Unfortunately,  I do not do this, so instead of one long Monday trip to the store, I make several short trips throughout the week.  And I’m sure we can all be in agreement that no one wants to go grocery shopping after a long day of work.

So, now that I’ve had my little vent session, what is your most hated chore?

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33.5

Happy half birthday to me!  Today I am 33.5 years old.  In 6 months I will officially be in my mid 30’s.  This is a milestone I am not looking forward to reaching.  Lucky for me there are several other wonderful things to celebrate in the upcoming months.

My beautiful, yet mischievously evil kitty, Kaner, will be celebrating her 4th birthday, as well as her 4th adoptiversary.  Four years of nips, scratches, purrs, and loving rubs.

My adorably, bratty chewer pup, Wrigley, will be celebrating her 2nd birthday.  Two years of sloppy kisses, ripped apart toys, and nighttime cuddles.

My handsome, hardworking, always loving, husband and I will be celebrating our 3rd wedding anniversary.  Three years of nonstop adventures, solved by bedtime arguments, and silly moments only we find humorous.

My perfect for us, slightly messy, but always welcoming home and I (as well as my husband) will be celebrating our 2nd year of home ownership. Two years of spontaneous DIY’s, fireplace movie nights, and homemade, or sometimes restaurant-made, meals.

My very intelligent, occasionally sarcastic, baby cousin will be celebrating his 18th birthday, as well as his high school graduation.  18 years of action figure filled babysitting nights, movie theater popcorn, fun filled family parties, and the brightest future possible.

So many events to celebrate, let’s hope they help ease me into my mid-thirties.

 

I’m Not the Greatest

I’m not the greatest at keeping up with my weekly house chores,

But I’m the best at making my house feel like a home.

I’m not the greatest at remembering dead lines,

But I’m the best at working under pressure.

I’m not the greatest at eating healthy foods,

But I’m the best at choosing the perfect restaurant.

I’m not the greatest at working out,

But I’m the best at finding a million other things to do instead.

I’m not the greatest at controlling my emotions,

But I’m the best at being sincere and true and caring.

I’m not the greatest at using my spare time wisely,

But I’m the best at binging both shows and books.

I’m not the greatest at confrontations,

But I’m the best at stepping up to a challenge.

I’m not the best at choosing my words carefully,

But I’m the best at letting others know what they mean to me.

 

 

This is not the greatest Slice I’ve ever written,

But it is the best that I could do tonight.

My Happy Place

Everyone has a happy place.   That store they LOVE to shop at whenever possible.

For some, it’s Target.  The trinkets in the dollar bins, the joy of a good deal from the clearance section, the whiff of Starbucks.

For others, it’s the grocery store.  The smell of the bakery, the bright colors of the produce section, the millions of meal opportunities.

And for others, it’s the local hardware store.  The DIY ideas everywhere, the assortment of seasonal flowers, the scent of fresh lumber.

As much as I love a good stroll through the aisles of all those stores, they are not my happy place.  My happy place is the thrift store.  I love everything about them!

I love the smell, the musty smell of treasures long forgotten, but given the opportunity of new life.

I love the shabby old furniture,that with the right coat of paint can become the centerpiece of any room.

I love the mess, the diving into all that stuff, to emerge with the perfect item that you didn’t even know you were looking for.

I love the stuffed bookshelves, brimming with old and new books, just looking for a another friend to open them up and plunge into their world.

I love the people, the upcyclers searching for their new masterpieces, the grandmas looking for that gem that reminds them of their youth, the teens, looking for that article of clothing that’s just a bit retro, but still cool enough to wear to school.

I love the feeling of finding IT – the thing that makes all the digging and sifting and searching and discovering totally worth the hours.

My happy place is a thrift store.   The messier, the smellier, the busier, the better.

Idiosyncrasies

 

We all have our own little idiosyncrasies that make us unique.  We would be so boring if we didn’t.

I love movies trailers!

I have to be at the movies early.  I need to have time to be get my snacks, use the bathroom five times, and get comfy.  If I miss the trailers, the whole movie is ruined for me.

My husband gets up very early, so he often goes to bed very early.  So, then I rent a movie from Xfinity.  I watch the whole thing, and then watch the trailer.  The problem is, I don’t stop there.  And Xfinity doesn’t help my problem, they fuel it.  After you watch a trailer, they then provide a ‘Since you watched ___________, you might enjoy these movies’ list. Which then causes me to watch trailers for those movies!  I catch myself constantly saying, “One more, and then I’ll go to bed.”  45 minutes later, I’m finally peeling myself off the couch, and going to bed.

Like many people, I spend a lot of unnecessary time on my phone.  All I want to do is check up on life – email and Instagram.  But before I know it, I’ve found my way to YouTube.  My 5 minute check in, has turned into a hour of – you guessed it – movie trailers.

I’m not picky!  I’ll watch new trailers.  Classic trailers.  Trailers from my favorite movies.  Trailers I’ve seen a thousand times.  Trailers for movies I have no intention of ever watching.  If it’s less than 3 minutes and is the summary of a movie, I’ll watch it!

One of my many idiosyncrasies is my love of movie trailers.  And we’ve only scratched the surface.

It Will Always be Home

Today I stopped by my parent’s house for a visit.

Parent’s house

Those words always feel funny in my mouth.

Even though it’s been 7 years since I’ve lived there.  Even though the furniture and pictures have been moved.  Even though my things are no longer scattered all over the house.  Even though I have a house of my own.  I still have a hard time not calling my parent’s house, home

But it will always be my home.

It will always be a place where I feel welcome.  Welcome to visit.  Welcome to stay as long as needed.  Welcome to raid the fridge.

It will always be a place where I feel safe.  Safe to share my opinion.  Safe to cry.  Safe to laugh about the old times.

It will always be a place where I feel free.  Free to by goofy.  Free to be crabby.  Free to be me.

It will always be a place where I feel respected.  Respected for my ideas.  Respected for my choices.  Respected for my differences.

It will always be a place where I feel loved.  Loved despite my mood.  Loved for my flaws.  Loved unconditionally.

No matter how many years have passed or how much it has changed.

It will always be my home.

 

 

 

 

 

If You Could Have One Superpower…

 

“I want to fun fast like the Flash!”

“I want to shoot web like Spiderman!”

“I want to be powerful like Black Panther!”

At one point or another, we have all asked our students to write a creative journal entry titled, “If you could have any super power, what would it be?”  And then you sit back and smile as your students share all the cool powers from whichever superheros just had the most recent movies.

Then of course, they ask you, and you share something lame like, “Oh, I’d fly like Superman, it would make finishing all my errands so much easier.”  But have you ever actually sat back and thought – I mean really thought – about what power you would want?

I have!  And you know what, I don’t want to fly like Superman or have cool cars like Batman.  I wouldn’t even want Wonder Woman’s Lasso of Truth!

I’d want the ability to know the perfect thing to say, to any person, at any time.  Not mind reading because, let’s be honest, that is just way to complicated!  I mean have you ever seen ‘What Woman Want’?  No thank you!  I just want to be able to give the most perfect response to any question or statement, in any situation.

Think about all those time in our lives where we are at a loss for words or put our foot in our mouths (I mean, that’s daily for me!) Never again!

That disagreement with a spouse or friend  – you could end that real quick, with one sentence.

That ‘friend’ from college who always seems to be doing better than you at everything –  politely let them know you never actually liked them or really care.

That really attractive trainer at the gym, who always has a witty or flirtatious quip – no more walking away, shaking your head, and thinking, “Did I just say ‘lol’ out loud!?”

That co-worker who has lost a loved one or suffered some heartache – no more stuttering over the obligatory condolences and ‘it will get betters.’

That one little thing you want to bring up to your supervisor, but every time you get within 10 feet of them, your fight or flight instinct suggests you run – now you can stroll right up to them and ask with confidence.

That student, that no matter how hard you try to connect, never seems to really open up – you can finally help them to put their trust in someone.

That aggravating ‘not my child’ parent, who is in constant denial – now you could help them open their eyes that, ‘yes your child’ and here’s how you can help me and them.

So, Captain American can keep his shield, I just would like a cure for my foot-in-mouth syndrome.

What would you choose?